The Adventures of The Oy Wonder

I’ve eaten a lot of McDonald’s. Over the years, it’s become a key comfort food for me. Why? I’m not sure, but I do have a theory. The following is said theory:

I have those moments when I’m craving McDonald’s, when I scurry off to the local McDonald’s and order a couple burgers and fries. Although I genuinely enjoy the taste, I’m not ordering the food. I’m taking a trip in a time machine to those moments as a child when my family and I would sit in front of a TV and watch “TGIF” together (TGIF = the old block of shows on ABC on Fridays. Remember?) It’s crazy to think about now, but I really only buy McDonald’s when I’m home alone. I actually can’t remember the last time I bought their food when I wasn’t alone or in some weird state of mind (starved, drunk, etc). I might be buying their food, but I’m really just saying that I miss being around my family. Maybe I don’t really like the food. I just like my family. And television. And Urkel. What I’m saying is that I miss Jaleel White.

I have been thinking about deleting my Facebook page. I don’t use it that often anymore, and when I do, I don’t really like what I see. It’s just not for me. It’s such a “me! me! me!” type of thing and a “look at me!” thing. It’s a place where people go to talk (and by talk, I mean brag) about their awesome weekends, relationships, trips to vegas and the beach, post pictures, etc. Also known as shit I’m not doing. Ever. I just don’t fit in with it. I’ve actually thought about doing this for a while. The only reason why I kept it was because of my friends - I was afraid to lose them, their weird digital version of themselves. Scared to walk away after all the time I had put into it (Wow, I sound like a girl in an abusive relationship). I wanted to keep in contact with them even if it meant just reading a status update once a week or whatever it was. I rarely posted serious, real Facebook-y things anymore, because I didn’t get it anymore. After a while, I stopped trying to hide it, and started posting whatever I wanted to (which resulted in Facebook statuses which looked more like a series of tweets and mini Tumblr blogs from a crazy person). In the world of Facebook, everyone is doing so well. Apparently, it’s a perfect world out there and in my head, I don’t belong there. I’m not really needed there either. I wish everyone well, but I have to delete it. I need to start feeling better about myself and my life. It’s really hard to do that when you’re staring down a bunch of posts about people who found $20 on the ground (or whatever people post on FB; trying not to use specific examples). I need one less thing to worry about - even if it’s only for a few minutes each week. It’s bothered me this much and that’s not healthy. Will I regret it? Probably, but it’s the right thing for me right now. There’s no point in worrying about something you hate so much (God, I feel like Jennifer Lopez in ‘Enough’. What a rush!). Sure, I’ll miss my good friends and a couple of girls I thought I had a chance with, but that’s life. You’ll lose contact with some people. You move on. It’s OKAY. I didn’t talk to 90% of the people there anyways, so it’s not too big of a loss.

I’m going to sleep on it tonight and if I wake up in the morning feeling the same as I do now, I’ll be putting the dog down tomorrow.

I’ll still be around on Twitter and here on Tumblr. And *GASP* you can send me a text message or call if you need to. I’m not dying, my Facebook page is. If you really want to talk to me, you’ll find a way. I’ll tell you all about my new FREEDOM!

I never did any sports when I was old enough to make the choice for myself, but I did do sports when parents were old enough to make the choice for me.

I played soccer for years when I was a little boy. I’m bringing this up for a reason. You’ll see. As like a fundraiser-type thing all the kids were given a box of assorted candies (chocolate bars, beef jerky, skittles). And you were supposed to sell the entire box of candy. I never sold my boxes. I’d take them home and end up eating the candy bars. Then I’d feel guilty and pay them. You were supposed to ask people to buy the candy bars. I never sold any, because I never asked people to buy any. Even as a kid, I was a cowardly lion.

The moral of the story is that you have to go out and ask people to buy your candy if you ever want to sell it. You have to put yourself out there and get uncomfortable. You have to take chances, make mistakes, and whatever you do, don’t eat candy bars that cost a dollar each because you’ll get fat and $1 is a ridiculous price to pay for one candy bar.

I’ll never understand how someone can hate roller coasters and still enjoy scary movies (or vice versa). In my head it’s the same feeling - being scared, on purpose. I don’t do either, because I’m not a crazy person that likes being scared. I am a crazy person, but not one that likes the feeling of fear. It’s just far so far away from anything I can imagine or empathize with. The only theory I could come up with is that these people (that enjoy this stuff) live such safe everyday lives that they need to be scared to be taken down to normal human levels - so they can feel like everyone else. Same reason rich people try skydiving or buy a motorcycle. Same reason why married people cheat. Your everyday life is boring, so you get your fill of excitement periodically. Theory #2: Or they’re subconsciously suicidal and don’t want to kill themselves. Solution: do something dangerous, yet safe at the same time. That 1/100,000 chance of death is enough for them.

Just a random thought.

Because I don’t feel like writing that much, but I want to.

I was out late last night. It’s 7am. There are loud kids in the other room. I want to cry.

I might have used up a wish to get Dax Shepard and Emma Roberts punk’d. Sorry, world peace (not you, Artest).

I still don’t know what I want to do with my life. Not sure if that’s a good or bad thing.

I bet the guy who played Goldberg in the Mighty Ducks movies wishes he was more successful in other parts, so people would stop referring to him as the guy who played Goldberg in the Mighty Ducks movies.

Started a new tumblr so I could post all the ridiculous pictures of me doing stuff I didn’t do. Will post url soon.

I don’t want to have kids, but I’m a young black guy so that means I probably will.

Yes, I watch “Teen Wolf” and yes, I’m excited to watch more “Teen Wolf” (season 2).

I’m too nice sometimes. I ended up signing a stranger’s petition (and giving up some private info - like my address). I hope it doesn’t end with me getting my head chopped off.

I’ve figured out I’m into different things sexually than my friends are. I guess that’s part of growing up - being okay with being different.

Thanks for reading, friends!